A Blog By Dream (Silas) Omans

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IRL

You think finding the 'right' man is random and that you have to wait for your turn to get 'lucky' when in reality, the skill of prioritizing your well being and what you want is one of the skills that makes it possible for you to create the reality of you being well loved in your lifetime over and over again.

March 15, 20247 min read

Disclaimer: The advice offered in this post assumes that you already feel destined for the love you desire most, and that you seek this love for the 'right' reasons—meaning, you're not attempting to escape yourself through a man or relying on him to resolve your deep-seated feelings of unworthiness. In such cases, the advice provided here may not be applicable until you address these issues first. I have blog posts that bring further awareness to the topic of ‘deep seated unworthiness’ and how it keeps you at a distance from the love you most want. You can read these posts here: https://dreamsilasomans.com/dlgwablog/c/unworthiness However, I do not assist women in developing faith that they CAN be loved in the manner they desire; they must already possess this faith within themselves. Additionally, I do not aid women in resolving deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, as these matters are beyond my scope.

You have to eradicate the notion that only certain lucky women meet the love of their lives.

When you keep this notion alive, you become blind to YOUR GIGANTIC ROLE in meeting the ‘right’ man and being loved well now and in the long term.

You also keep yourself waiting and waiting.

It’s NOT luck. It’s NOT mysterious. It's not chance. It's NOT random.

And it’s certainly not about spending years waiting to meet the “right man”.

Meeting the ‘right’ man and then being happy, loved, and in love at THE SAME TIME with this man are simply learned skills that you can use over and over again to create the reality of being well loved in your lifetime over and over again.

Let’s remove the mysticism from it once and for all.

Because when you don’t understand that these are learned skills, you keep thinking that everything is random and you just have to deal with whatever the wind drags in— and that’s just not true.

You also have this unhealthy attachment to specific outcomes, entertain men who aren't right for you much longer than you should, and you keep yourself in a state of passively longing and waiting for your love life to kind of just ‘fix’ itself.

I want to convey to you that you have far MORE influence on meeting the ‘right’ man and being happy in love than you are letting yourself acknowledge.

What you're actually waiting for is you.

And to be clear, I'm not talking about letting yourself fall into the trap of trying to force, control and/or manipulate your external experience or the men you meet.

No, that'll always back fire in the end. Not to mention it's quite draining.

I am talking about increasing your awareness of what you're actually responsible for in love. THIS is what is often missing and this is indeed a skill and like a love super power.

In this post, I want to talk about one HUGE, specific skill (aka, thing that you are responsible for): ALWAYS prioritizing your well being and what you want.

This is actually point 2 of the "Responsibility Triangle" that I teach my clients.

FYI, the “Responsibility Triangle” outlines 3 core areas where women I work with tend to overlook responsibility in their connection/relationship with a man, leading them to be unaware of all the available opportunities they have for greater love.

Within the core 3, there are smaller sub-areas that women need to take responsibility for as well, but they fall under these 3 large categories (or points) and for the purpose of our discussion here, we’ll just focus on point 2 of the triangle.

Point 2 zooms in on where you aren't prioritizing your well-being and what you want.

To get you to see this clearly, you simply ask yourself: What aspects of my well-being, both now and in the future, and what I desire am I NOT prioritizing?

Let me show you how this works in practice.

Well, if you want to meet the ‘right’ man and be claimed, committed to, provided for, and well loved, then EVERYTHING you do whilst dating and getting to know a man must be filtered through this.

This must be put ABOVE your general desire for love, a specific man, your emotions, and even the temporary feel good moments you have with a man.

This is what prioritizing your well being and what you want actually translates into.

Women get too caught up in their general desire for love, a specific man, her emotions, and especially temporary feel good moments that she has with a man and that blinds her from her ongoing responsibility to prioritize choosing a man who will claim, commit to, provide for, and love her well now and especially in the long term.

What would happen if everything was filtered through this?

If you always asked yourself throughout the process of dating and getting to know a man, "what aspects of my well-being, both now and in the future, and what I desire am I NOT prioritizing?", you'd make very different decisions.

Instead of allowing a man to bore you to death with lack of initiative and texting you all day, you'd properly express to him that despite your eagerness to get to know him, you are bored of small talk.

Instead of getting prematurely attached to a man and over-investing in him because of it, you would reserve activities that would make you attached to him for deeper, more serious commitment. You'd also express to him that although you enjoy him, you're reserving certain things for a man that commits to you.

[By the way, you learn how to effectively communicate all of this in week 7 of my 12 week mentorship program IRL (Inevitable Romance & Love): Better Than Fantasy.]

Instead of waiting to find out if the man you're dating is open to commitment or interested in committing to you, you'd clearly express your desire for marriage from the very beginning and then observe his responses to that.

Instead of getting emotionally fixated on a man just because he showed you a good time a few times, you'd zoom out, use your emotions as data, and see if you're actually on track for receiving what you want long term.

Instead of spending your time dating one guy at a time and putting pressure on that connection to work out, you'd date several men at a time and observe which one steps up for you in the way you most want and need.

This is what prioritizing your well being and what you want looks like.

If you want to meet the 'right' man and actually be claimed, committed to, provided for, and well loved, then you must understand that you are responsible for putting your well being and desires FIRST.

No more waiting to get lucky to find the right man. This is a skill that you want to master.

In my 8 week email mentorship, “IRL: Better Than Fantasy”, "Responsibility Triangle" are one of the main skills that I teach to help feminine women (not yet married)who know they’re destined for great love work on in order to go from hoping for her turn to get lucky in love to being claimed, committed to, and and loved well now and in the future by the man she (will) loves.

We also work on:

  1. Being self aware and knowing where you really are in relation to the love life you want so that you avoid feeling powerless and lost in love.

  2. Learning to feel your emotions through and then use them as data to make decisions that lead to you being and feeling safe, secure, and loved now and in the long term.

  3. Communicating your needs, desires, feeling, or grievances properly to a man so that they can be met, you avoid resentment, and a deeper, stronger bond can be formed between you and the man you'll love.

  4. How to choose men that make sense for who you are, what you want, and your overall well being now and in the future.

  5. And if needed/desired, we cover actually meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/offline mingling and dating.

This mentorship is $999.

DM me the word "IRL" here http://m.me/dreemsilas (Facebook Messenger) or (*here if you prefer chatting on Instagram*) if interested and we'll have a quick chat to see if it's a good fit. The qualification process is short, sweet, and simple.

I'll ask you just a few yes or no qualification questions and if it's a good fit, can get you enrolled 

whenever you're ready.

I look forward to chatting with you.

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Dream (Silas) Omans

Dream Silas Omans is a wife, writer, and mentor/coach specializing in guiding women toward fulfilling romantic connections and relationships/marriage with men. Dream's blog provides guidance for women seeking fulfilling romantic connections and relationships/marriage with men. It covers topics such as personal growth, empowerment in love, relationship dynamics, and practical skills for finding and nurturing healthy relationships. Dream offers practical advice and mentorship programs, including her flagship program "IRL: Better Than Fantasy," aimed at empowering single women to go FROM single and hoping for her turn to get lucky in love TO being claimed, committed to, and and loved well now and in the future by the man she'll love. Through her work, Dream aims to help women navigate the complexities of modern relationships and ultimately experience love, support, and fulfillment.

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