They’ll say your message is “dangerous”, non inclusive, and offensive…share your deepest message anyway

One of the greatest feelings I’ve experienced in life has been writing exactly what I wanted to say and serving the people who resonated with what I was saying.

With that being said, I’ve run into many people in the online space telling me how “dangerous” my messaging can be, how it doesn’t apply to everyone, and how it can be offensive to (insert group of people for insert generic reason why).

In the early days, messages like these may have made me stop posting certain things or significantly dilute down what I was saying as to not offend, exclude, or “harm” anyone.

As a result of me watering down my message, I didn’t really resonate with anyone. I sounded just as generic as all the other people also diluting their messaging.

This not only affected my online business negatively, but it also affected me personally. I had to live with the fact that I was being only a fragment of what I knew I could be. This felt very depressing as it is very out of integrity to me and also disregards my own values.

These days, I COMPLETELY reject the idea that we must water down our message to avoid being perceived as 'dangerous,' 'non-inclusive,' or 'offensive.

And here are all the reasons why I vehemently reject this notion:

#1. Our message can and should apply to specific people in specific seasons in their life

There are always going to be people in different spaces and circumstances to whom our message doesn’t apply. This doesn't mean we should water down our message, try to include everyone, or provide lengthy disclaimers that detract from the message.

The most helpful messages are the ones that are for specific people in specific seasons. Otherwise, the message would be too broad and too general to actually be of any real use to a person.

I’m so glad some of the greatest minds that I study and consume the messages of didn’t subscribe to watering down their message or not saying what they wanted just because it didn’t apply to everyone. These people quite literally changed my life because their message, although it didn’t apply to everyone, applied to me.

The entire point of our message anyway is to serve the people we desire and are best suited to serve.

Just because we can’t serve everyone doesn’t mean we shouldn’t serve anyone.

#2. It is the responsibility of the consumer to cultivate the ability of taking in what applies to them and ignoring what doesn’t. It is NOT the creator’s responsibility.

A huge lesson that needs to be cultivated is learning the space you are in and what wisdom applies to that specific space. This is an important lesson for everyone to learn.

I believe in the individual’s ability to know what’s good for them specifically and what isn’t.

I’d drive myself crazy trying to assess what is good for individual people all the time and I’d be wrong most of the time too. I strongly believe that the individual is intelligent, that they know themselves more than I know them, that they are autonomous, and can make good decisions for themselves.

I trust them wholeheartedly and so this is the premise from which I create my messages. With a deep trust that the consumer will know if it’s for them or not.

But here’s the thing, even if none of that is true for a specific individual, it is still NOT my responsibility to figure out if my message applies to a specific person or not either way.

I’m not responsible for that person’s feelings, life experiences, or how they choose to interpret or perceive my messaging.

And that is a good thing.

People have every right and the complete freedom to ignore my message, reject my message, or disagree with my message if they feel that it is not beneficial to their life in any way.

And that is OK. It’s actually more than OK, it is a wonderful thing that I appreciate.

#3. Life is ever-changing and so the messages that apply to someone’s life will change as well

Just because something doesn’t apply to someone now, doesn’t mean it won’t apply to them later. Different seasons require different wisdom. This does not make the things that don’t apply to them now wrong or less truthful, they just make them irrelevant for them right now.

This is a key distinction to understand.

Even in my own life, I’ve found myself disagreeing with certain messages at one point in my life and then seeking out and agreeing with those very messages later in life.

We can observe that life often does come full circle for us in an ironic but also fascinating and beautiful way.

It is also worth mentioning that sometimes two seemingly “contradictory” messages can apply to a person’s life and serve them well.

Some people simply just embody an all or nothing mentality, when what would really serve them is holding two truths at once and embracing the word “AND”.

Two things CAN be true at the same time.

For instance, quite recently I received a lot of backlash for essentially saying that a person can be worthy of something AND yet still be deeply appreciative at the same time. Being appreciative doesn’t mean you’re not worthy and being worthy doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be appreciative.

This is an example of holding two truths at the same time. For some people this may seem contradictory but in reality, it isn’t.

Personally speaking, my love, entrepreneurial, and personal life significantly improved when I learned that I could hold two truths at once.

#4. Watering down your message is often a result of people pleasing, NOT actually wanting to serve people

It is a people-pleasing mindset that aims to water down your message to avoid offending anyone, to avoid being perceived as 'dangerous,' and to try and apply to everyone.

Ironically, you cannot truly be a people-pleaser and serve others at the same time. Genuine service to others requires that you be all of you.

On the other hand, people-pleasing demands that you forsake yourself to appease others, which, in reality, benefits no one.

My days of people-pleasing came to an end when I began to feel that it was depleting me and eroding my values.

I no longer mind being disagreeable because I am the only one who has to live with the knowledge that I am only living up to half of my potential due to my fear of others' opinions.

I suffer when I do not express, act upon, and stand up for what I genuinely believe and know to be true. The freedom, fulfillment, self-actualization, and genuine service to others are worth any potential backlash I might experience.

Additionally, it's worth noting that in your entrepreneurial pursuits, you will be compensated greater by genuinely serving people rather than merely appeasing them.

Where is the line?

This article would not be complete without addressing the distinction between acceptable and harmful messaging.

I frame it as follows: If the message you've crafted lacks a genuine foundation in personal experiences aimed at improving either your own life or the lives of others, and instead is intended to inflict harm or incite violence, that's where I firmly draw the line.

Additionally, I establish boundaries when individuals attempt to infringe upon someone else's freedom to choose what's best for their own life. Such actions are indicative of genuinely harmful behavior, and once again, this is where I set my limit.

Conclusion

When you are saying exactly what you want to say and serving people well with your messaging, you can be sure that you will be met with backlash. It comes with the territory.

Like me, you’ll probably find that sharing your deepest message and serving people well is worth any of the meaningless backlash you may receive.

Sure, they’ll tell you your message is dangerous, non inclusive, and offensive, but for the people who resonate with your message, you’re helping them improve their lives.

And that type of impact is all worth it in the end.

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