Having the life you want is often determined by how much you can stand to play the bad guy

I never quite realized just how much I needed people to think that I was good, that I made good choices, had good ideas, that I was smart, selfless, and all the other good things until I became an entrepreneur.

For most of us, this entrepreneurial journey will reveal even the most unconscious of our beliefs, behaviors, and mentalities. The things that we keep hidden, even from ourselves, to stay safe and remain comfortable.

The tendency to want to be perceived as “good” by other people is particularly a dream killer.

This is because people perceive you as “good” when you’re doing what they think you should be. This could be what worked for them, what impresses them, or you staying at the level they think you are meant to be at.

None of that even considers what really lights you up, what you desire, what your ambitions are, and what your true potential is.

So by wanting to be perceived as “good” by others, by default, you forsake yourself.

When we as entrepreneurs realize this truth, we are met with a sobering reality and a choice.

We know that we must drop the need for others to perceive us as good but where exactly is our limit?

How long can you actually stomach other people criticizing your choices, thinking you’re selfish, stupid, over confident, bound to fail, or insane?

The answer to that question reveals where your limit is.

The more freely you go after exactly what you want, the more resistance you are met with from the people around you.

This is the sacrifice. You, by default, sign up to be the “bad guy”.

Can you stomach that?

If your answer is yes, keep reading because there are 4 things you must understand.

You will be scrutinized so prepare for it

When you take a path so drastically different to everyone around you, you and the path you take are often scrutinized quickly, closely, and harshly to see if it is producing results or not.

Of course this is unreasonable, but people do this more so because they’ve never seen this path work up close and personal and they are already biased because you taking a path different from them is indirectly challenging them and their own choices.

Some people can even get offended when they believe that their way is superior and think you should follow suit to what they did or just “stay in your place”.

The truth is that it’s not your job to manage their expectations, explain yourself all the time, or make others feel comfortable. Your primary job as an entrepreneur is to actually pursue your own self interest to unfold greatness that serves you and others.

Allow what people think of you to slide off of you

You have to be willing to let their judgments about you be okay even if they are untrue, they are misunderstanding you, or they are projecting. This is where you must develop an attitude of pure non-chalance where your own self perception and self awareness must take precedence.

You must know who you are and what’s true about you and what isn’t.

This is how you can effectively let other people think whatever they want.

The wisdom of the decisions you’re making and the actions you’re taking will be revealed over time. You don’t have to convince anyone of this. It will be a natural by-product of your entrepreneurial journey.

If you feel that there are specific people who go out of their way to try and discourage you or insult you, eliminate them from your life as much as possible.

Understand that you don’t have to make them an active part of whatever you are doing at all. Eliminate unnecessary or undesired contact with them and learn how to shut conversations that you don’t want to have down.

Now, there will be people who you really respect the opinion of.

I’d advise that you surround and nourish yourself with people who understand you. Let the people who you respect the opinion of be people that have done what you want to do or are where you desire to be.

Deeply valuing the opinion of those who don’t understand you can set you back drastically.

Pursue your self interest no matter what

This will be perceived as selfish to many people but, in the end, it doesn’t really matter.

It is of utmost importance that you pursue what you love, what you’re interested in, what pulls you toward it, what excites you, and what energizes you.

This will unfold greater and greater things for you and will eventually land you exactly where you want to be.

This is the best course of action for you, the people you care about, and the people you serve.

Why?

Because pursuing your self interest, ironically, ends up being better for everyone in the end.

This is a paradox that we see the evidence of all the time.

This is not to say that you should never be selfless.

When you’ve constructed a foundation built on your self interest, you can then opt to be selfless to the people you already desire, love, and want to be selfless for.

This gives your altruism more purpose, intention, and meaning.

You must believe in the unfolding

There will be many times where you want to just give in to what others are saying and give up on your dream. I think the root of this sudden desire to give up lies in the frustration of not seeing significant progress and not understanding what I’m about to say:

While not everything may be deemed a "success" in your eyes, NOT ONE THING happens in vain. Each and every seemingly underwhelming experience, meaningless encounter, failed idea, and unsuccessful pursuit unfolds to reveal something greater to you, for you, and through you.

In truth, every day, you’re witnessing a miracle in slow motion.

In truth, nothing is a failure…everything is the unfolding to your inevitable success.

You must believe in this.

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If this post nourished you in any way, I invite you to become a member of the Deep Love, Great Work Association.

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