Women often avoid speaking their desires for commitment out of fear of being controlling, when in fact, the need for certainty in a relationship is a feminine requirement

I used to fear being controlling in my relationships after I learned that being feminine is to essentially “take a back seat” and let the man “step up”.

It wasn’t until much practice and experience that I began to realize that it wasn’t so black and white.

In fact, “taking the back seat” sometimes left me feeling that I could never really express myself to a man.

It made me feel like I had to forever wait for him to somehow figure out how to give me what I desired or even to figure out what I desired or needed in the first place.

This type of mentality coupled with my behavior imprisoned me to the reality of endlessly waiting.

In the context of wanting further commitment (girlfriend status, engagement, marriage), before my clients start working with me they have also put themselves in a prison of waiting for the man to “step up” for them and figure it all out.

But the truth is, the need for certainty in a relationship is a feminine requirement. Which means that you must position yourself to receive this.

You do this by developing your feminine expression enough to communicate your true needs and desires to a man in a way that is aligned with you, respects the man and where he is, and also allows him freedom.

Let me clarify what feminine expression means.

Feminine expression simply means how you show up, communicate, and present yourself in alignment with who you are as a feminine woman.

In short, it means being and acting like the valuable woman you truly are. It does NOT mean hiding your desires, not expressing what you need or desire, and “taking a back seat” and imprisoning yourself to the reality of endless waiting.

While I’ll go further into what developing your feminine expression means fully in separate posts, I want to help you free yourself from the endless waiting once and for all.

If you desire further commitment in your relationship: to know where it’s going and to be certain of it you must communicate that in the right way.

You do this by making him a “love sandwich”.

A “love sandwich” is essentially a way in which you structure your sentences to a man to make sure you are expressing your needs and desires, respecting the man and where he is, and allowing him freedom; not giving him ultimatums, not nagging him, not shaming him, nor attempting to “control” him.

It is quite literally the fastest and most effective method of communicating difficult topics to a man while respecting both your autonomy and his autonomy that I have found.

My clients and I have tested this over and over and have always found that “love sandwiches” breed positive results where both parties feel heard, understood, and satisfied.

To create a love sandwich you start by stating what you love about your time with him, something he’s done for you recently, something he is good at, etc.

What you’re expressing with your opening statement should relate to what you’d like to speak further about.

Next, you transition into expressing your grievance by saying something to the extent of “Yet I feel…”.

It is important to have already connected to your emotions and felt everything through so that you are able to convey things in a mature manner that truly honors what you desire, what you need, and how you feel.

This is something that I work with clients on thoroughly so that what they express here and how they express it is genuine and is received well by the man.

Lastly, you should end with a statement about what you love again, simply reiterating what your opening statement was about.

This is important because it focuses on the good in the relationship, keeps things lighthearted, and keeps you connected to your heart (which is something that he can feel and considers genuine).

To show you exactly how this works, let's imagine you are seeing a man and have already established a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

However, you are feeling worried since the relationship has been going on for a while but he hasn't expressed any interest in marriage after you’ve gotten together.

Instead of simply “taking a back seat” and waiting for him to read your mind, figure out what you want and how you want it, you make him a love sandwich.

Your love sandwich could be something like this:

“John, I love being with you and getting to know you more and more everyday. This past year, especially, has been so fun for me. Yet I feel a little worried and uncertain on whether we’re on the same page about where this relationship is headed because marriage is very important to me and I’d really like to be a wife one day soon. It’s difficult when that uncertainty is so prevalent because as I said I love being with you and experiencing life with you.”

If you were in this situation, this would be a good love sandwich to give to the man.

It is very heart focused, non-controlling,and mature as you take all the responsibility for where you are emotionally, how you feel, and what you love.

Additionally, you are able to express your desire for further commitment and can free yourself from the prison of endlessly waiting for him to one day “figure it all out”.

All that is left to do is to simply allow him the space and freedom to respond.

When my clients use love sandwiches, it makes it much easier for them to communicate with the man about how they feel and where they are without giving him ultimatums, telling him what to do, or shaming him. (Which men hate all three, especially the shaming…)

This gives him the freedom to respond and it gives him a problem to solve (instead of it just being a complaint) which results in a closer relationship for my clients.

All of this is very important when expressing your desire for further commitment and certainty within your relationship with a man.

The closeness and intimacy that can be created with just communicating properly with him; by telling him what’s on your heart.

The arguments turned into laughs instead.

The tears turned into kisses instead.

These are the moments you want with him… just enjoying him and him enjoying you even through difficult conversations.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on:

- helping you feel fully deserving of love/a high quality man,

- increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

- attracting experiences with men that match your standards

- resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

- and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment.

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment. ($5,555)

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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