Let’s talk about why you pretend to not care about a man when you actually do and how that’s keeping you from elevated love and union.

Pretending that you don't care about a man when you actually do is not only anti-feminine, but it's also a surefire way to keep yourself single and away from the elevated love that is destined for you.

As a mentor for women in their love life, I see this happen all too often. Women fall into the trap of pretending they don't care about a man as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt, but this can actually be detrimental to the relationship and can even prevent it from progressing.

This is because it is not heart centered nor is it authentic. Men can sense this and it feels off to them and can be quite repelling.

When a man seems to pull away or do something differently, it can be scary for a woman who is very attached to his every move and holding on to every word he says. Instead of facing this fear head-on, some women try to pretend they don't care about him or what he does or says.

But this comes off as playing games and can push the man away because like I said it is inauthentic and he can feel it.

In this post, I want to dive a little deeper into why women pretend that they don’t care and what you can do instead of this to encourage more elevated communication, commitment, and love in your life.

When a woman is pretending that she doesn't care about a man, she is essentially hiding. Now, she may be hiding for a plethora of reasons, but from my own experience and working with clients, usually a woman begins to do this when she feels a man either pulling away or not matching her level of excitement, commitment, or the idea of what the relationship/connection is supposed to be and look like.

When this happens, a woman tries to act like she doesn't care as much as she really does to essentially save face or, sometimes, it is to try and convince herself or the man that she's not feeling the way that she is actually feeling.

Either way, this type of behavior is anti-feminine and it often leaves women feeling worse off. This is because she's hiding from herself and she's not centered in the heart or in the body. Instead, she's playing mind games, which doesn't serve her or the man she's interested in.

The ironic thing is that when women are pretending that they don't care about a man as much as they do, they usually focus all their attention on him and hang on to his word or action."

This is a draining process and as I mentioned before often backfires.

The truth is that men are always reflecting back to you where you are with yourself.

You'll notice that when your energy is solely focused on a man, he'll begin to feel distant to you and pull away a bit. This is because you've pulled your energy off of yourself and basically began to smother him with it.

Couple this with also pretending that you don’t care and you have the literal recipe to repel a man.

So what’s the solution here?

The solution is to put the energy back on you and your inner world and properly convey your feelings, needs, desires, and boundaries to a man in an authentic manner.

This stops you from having to pretend that you don't care and instead it puts you in the position to receive the connection, communication, and love that you’re looking for.

This is what I teach my clients how to do and what I will explain how to do in the remainder of this post.

In my work, I teach a technique called "feminine expression" to help women express their needs, desires, boundaries, and feelings to a man in a way that is authentic and respectful.

Feminine expression simply means how you show up, communicate, and present yourself in alignment with who you are as a feminine woman.

In short, it means being and acting like the valuable woman you truly are. It does NOT mean hiding your desires, not expressing what you need or desire, and trying to pretend that you don’t care.

Feminine expression needs to be developed if you want to have a fulfilling love life where your desires and needs are met.

So, in order for you to properly develop feminine expression in this case, you need to refocus where your energy is. You need to put your energy into your inner world. This simply means figuring out how you're feeling, what you love, what feels good to you, and taking care of your likes, desires and yourself.

When your energy is focused solely on the man, it becomes almost impossible for anything good to come out of that because you are so far removed from your own inner world which disconnects you from your own femininity.

So, the first thing you want to do is reconnect yourself to your inner world

You do this by simply being present with yourself and asking yourself the following: What do I desire right now? What do I like right now? What do I love right now? What feels good to me right now?

Asking yourself these questions everyday or even better, a few times a day, really helps you connect with your inner world.

Each question should bring up many things after you ask it. This is a good thing!

Secondly, you want to allow yourself to actually enjoy some of the things that you desire, like/love, and make you feel good. This is allowing yourself to enjoy your life.

Once you are centered back into yourself and your innerworld, you can then begin to really figure out what’s upsetting you in the relationship enough to pretend that you don’t care.

Once you’re clear on this, you must get clear on what you desire, like/love, and what feels good about the connection between you and the man. You want to ask yourself questions like:

What do I desire our connection to be like? What do I like/love about our connection already? What don’t I like? What feels good about our connection? What doesn’t feel good?

For example: In this scenario, let's say you desire to have more conversations with him. You love having conversations with him as they are always enjoyable and offer opportunities for deeper connection. However, you’re frustrated that you two don’t communicate as much as you’d like.

Once you are clear on this, the final step is to then express this to the man using a “love sandwich”! Using a “love sandwich” allows you to invite him into your inner world which he will feel is genuine and non controlling.

You may be wondering, what is a love sandwich?

A “love sandwich” is essentially a way in which you structure your sentences to a man to make sure you are expressing your needs and desires, respecting the man and where he is, and allowing him freedom; not giving him ultimatums, not nagging him, not shaming him, nor attempting to “control” him.

It is quite literally the fastest and most effective method of communicating difficult topics to a man while respecting both your autonomy and his autonomy that I have found. My clients and I have tested this over and over and have always found that “love sandwiches” breed positive results where both parties feel heard, understood, and satisfied.

The first step in creating a love sandwich for this situation is to express what you love about your connection with him.

Next, you say something along the lines of "Yet I feel..." to express your grievance. Having already connected to your inner world and feeling everything through will help you convey things in a manner that honors what you desire, what you need, and how you feel with maturity and authenticity.

As part of my services, I work with clients to ensure what they express and how they express it is genuine and well received by the man.

Last but not least, you should end with a statement that again describes what you love about the connection you have. This is important because it keeps things lighthearted, keeps things positive, and keeps you connected to your heart (which he can feel).

If it feels right, you can also follow the last statement up with a question asking for his input like: But what do you think about that? How does that register on your end? Or even an indirect “Do you know what I mean?” works well here too.

As an example, in this case your love sandwich could be something like this:

“John, I really love our phone conversations. They’re always fascinating and I feel much closer to you afterward. Yet, I feel like we’re not on the same page about how much we want to communicate and that makes me sad. Because, like I said, I really love talking with you over the phone…”

And then you give him the space and time to reply.

This works because you’re no longer hiding.

With just a few sentences, you were able to express what you want, what you love, and how you feel about your connection in a genuine, warm, and non-combative manner. It even allows the man freedom to properly connect with you and respond adequately.

And what this does is allow you to remain receptive, warm, and open.

And you can be sure that it will breed more beautiful results than just pretending that you don't care about him.

With many of my clients, they’ve found that this method helped her and the man she’s interested in/dating/committed to find a solution that works for both of them and leads to improved connection and communication.

Being able to connect to your inner world and let him in by properly expressing to him what you desire, like, and what feels good makes it so much easier for you to have your desires/needs met without pretending that you don’t care about him.

It’s a whole new world of love and freedom when your feminine expression is cultivated…

If you’re wondering whether this exact approach could work in your situation, I advise you to try it out. Many women tell me that they get beautiful results from just reading about the things I write in my content.

Keep in mind though that while feminine expression needs to be cultivated and is powerful when it is, that it is only one part of the larger equation.

There’s still a lot to account for that could not be included in this post and every woman's situation is different.

That’s why I work with women in my 12 week mentorship program to put the entire equation together and if this post resonated with you, maybe you’d like to consider working with me.

In my 12 week mentorship, “woman in union”, feminine expression and properly communicating your needs, desires, and standards is one of the main things that I help professional, feminine women work on in order to go from mediocre love to having the highest quality of love.

We also work on

• increasing your capacity for receiving and maintaining love, intimacy, and support

• attracting experiences with men that match your standards

• identifying your feminine value and helping you feel deserving of elevated love

• resurrecting the passion and intimacy in your relationship

• and if needed/desired, we cover meeting men who are aligned with you via online dating/ organic dating and inspiring further commitment.

This mentorship is a mid 4 figure investment.

If you'd like more info on the mentorship [what it entails, the process, and the qualifications], click here!

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